Hawaii used to be snake free, except for a species of water snake that is so rare, even scientists can't findit. But since people started smuggling produce and other items into the state, especially from places like Guam, the brown tree snake has been camping out here. It's been killing our ecology for the past 25 years and it's my job (along with other conservationists) to find these things at the border and get rid of them.

Other things that have been smuggled to Hawaii include nocturnal Canadian women who eat all the cereal and leave the refrigerator door ajar. These dangerous species are known to piss off local conservationists who have to live with them. They do come equipped with special permits for activities like base jumping and skydiving, which we think is pretty cool.